Jan 19, 2006

Rain

Rain

It's raining outside
It was raining when I stepped out of the shower this morning
It was raining when I had my breakfast tea
It was raining when I caught the bus to the city
It was raining when I was heading to the house and it was raining when I left a few hours later
It was raining when I ducked into the library
It was raining when I came out with an armfull of books

It was raining when I sat down with a cup of coffee
It was raining while I contemplated my life before me
It was raining as I felt the cold metal against my finger tips
It was raining when I pulled the trigger
And it rains on, still, though my life is over.

It really has been raining all day, and I am somewhat in a melancholic mood, thus the verses.

Jan 18, 2006

Looks can be deceiving

Looks can be deceiving

Correction - looks ARE deceiving. Very often people don't let on who they are or what they really are like the first time you meet them. Well, at least not in my case. Now that I think of it, seldom do my innitial impression of someone I've just met stay unchanged. Or is that because I was too judgemental? I have recently been strongly reminded of how different people can be once you get past the introduction. Its also a reminder for me not to jump to conclusions. Ever. As noble as it may sound, it's probably a hard one for me to achieve. I have to admit I put on a mask upon meeting someone new. It's nothing personal or because I dislike that person. I see it simply as a reactory defense mechanisme. When welcoming something unknown into your environment, you're bound to be weary and put out receivers. As for me, I only let my guard down when I feel comfortable with the new person, be it male or female, young or old. I admit I am quite a timid person, or have become a lot more so, and thus familiarising with new individuals take time and effort. Some may take me as aloof and unfriendly but hey, through this natural process of acclimatising, I have acquired some very supportive and pleasent group of companions, people I feel completely at home with. So for those who feel I don't warm up to others fast enough, in the words of Bartholomew Simpson, 'eat my shorts'. Otherwise just be patient. I'll come around soon enough.

Jan 5, 2006

Summertime

Summertime

The past few nights have been visited by rain. I guess the hot scorching period of summer is over. Clouds drift by when there were none at all before. At times the air gets so thick you can hardly breath. Humidity is a suffocator. Shirts stick to peoples' backs and armpits dampen within minutes. Shadows come and go too quickly to matter. Yet I have in me this resolute calmness that doesn't seem to go away. I sit with my chin resting on my hand, I listen to the leaves rustling, and I pondered. I wanted to fill this first summer of mine with something worth recalling. Significant occurance are sparse but little glimpses of niceness are abundant. Perhaps I should try to record those little moments and stop looking for that life changing event that might never come. Perhaps it's time to focus on those little things. Perhaps it's time to move on. Perhaps.

Jan 3, 2006

Happy birthday to me

Happy birthday to me...

A poem on a birthday card from my 10-year-old baby brother to me:

Badgers are grumpy
but you are not
But don't forget the family
Because we love you lots.

Aww....miss you to no end Kimi!