May 20, 2007

kak N's wedding

I forgot that I had something to say about the wedding until I saw kak Ayien's blog.
I forgot that I'd had this nagging thought for days after the majlis bertandang.
The wedding was full of highs with very few lows, for me. Alhamdulillah, our whole family is so proud to have been able to pull it off practically single-handedly.
The 'send-off' in Seremban was equally fun. But I came home puzzled of a minor discomfort.
I realized that the whole affair had been pretty one-sided for me. It was MY sister getting married, MY family welcoming a new member, OUR kenduri, OUR relatives.
During the majlis bertandang, I kept feeling irked by the way Esyaque's family talked in such a familiar way about my sister. Here is a bunch of people I hardly know and they seem to know a lot about kak Nani and fancy her to no end.
I had overlooked the fact that she's being welcomed into another family and that she's going to be apart of this entire group of people I hardly know anything about. The IN-LAWS.
There is irritation that accompanys my realization of this fact and ignoring it is a big effort.
I guess that's what letting go is all about.

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