Sun

Sun

I caught the sun rising today. It said hi to me so I waved back with as much optimism as I can muster. The day promises to be beautiful so I breathed easy and sipped my tea. Contemplating the hows of packing never got me anywhere, so I might just start randomly dumping all my stuff into boxes and label them with ingenous tags like "stationery and sorts" or "software + some other hard stuff" so I'd have something to smile about while unpacking them a year from now. If there ever was a plus side to saying goodbye, albeit a temporary one, it'd be the food and caffein. I've had more farewell luches and coffee meets that I can count on my hands. The pain of never seeing them again ( for the next year, more or less) is somewhat soothed by whatever caffeine-enhanced-beverage I chose for the day. Come to think of it, saying goodbye has been a lot of fun. The only friend I might worry about being honest when she said she'd miss me was my Turkish classmate. She relied quite heavily on my assistance for some of her major design assignments. I do hope I wasn't her last resort.
I brag rather sheepishly (try that expression in the mirror, you'll laugh yourself silly) to my friends that I've been packed and ready to go since last week. Strangely though, there's still a lot of stuff I feel I haven't touched. Up till last week I'd set my mind to not seeing my family and friends back home for at least two more years. Now that I'd decided to return, extending my stay for even another day seemed unbearable. I find myself worrying that something might go wrong at the airport and I'd have to get a summer job here instead, which would drive me further into unadulterated caffeine consumption, no doubt.

I'm anxious about going home too. Something tells me there are some ghosts from my past ready to jump out and give me a nice scare. If only I could clearly list down all the hanky panky I'd been up to before coming here. Then I could properly prepare an alibi should any of them ever surface.

There's some people I'm dying to see. Two years without eye contact can either do some serious damage or bring us closer. I'll leave that one up to God. I just hope I can be more honest with myself this time around. If there's one thing I'd like to do when I return, it's that I'll try not lie to myself too much. Nevermind everyone else. I think being honest to myself is most important in growing up. I really do want to grow up and resonate more maturity in my actions. I think it's about time.

Maybe a bit more time in the sun will help jump start my growth spurt. So sun, here I come!