Old People

I love the old people I meet at work. They often come up to the counter so quietly that I don't even realize they're there. I'd look up from what I was doing and there they would be, smiling patiently even though they might have been there for a while. They always greet me with some form of pleasantry. They are seldom in a hurry since a majority of them are retired. They are hardly ever grumpy as old people are often depicted in the media. Sometimes they take a little longer to come up with the right change for their purchases. In return, they smile patiently whenever I make a mistake at the till. Some of them even try to joke in what I think was an attempt to ease me nervousness. The shopping carts that they push in front of them are meant more as a walking support rather than to carry their purchases. Often that's how I realize one of them was at the counter. They'd lose their balance or control of the shopping cart for a brief second and the cart would make a slight bang against the counter. No matter how gentle the collision, they would always apologize profusely, jokingly blaming their age and weak back. I love the old people I meet at work.

Of Tardiness

I missed my bus to work last Saturday and had to pay $9.60 for a cab. That's $9.60 more than what I normally pay for my bus fair.

Today I set my watch five minutes ahead of time in order to trick myself into being punctual. It worked. I managed to make it to the bus terminal well before the bus did. I even managed to grab a cup of coffee for the bus ride.

As the bus took off through downtown I settled in my seat with the warm feeling of having achieved something significant. Along the way I saw the apartment that I was going to move into in a few months' time. I hadn't noticed this before although I've taken the bus to work for the past two weeks. Funny. All the same I thought, 'How convenient. I'll have to make a note of the bus stop and the schedule.' I peered through the bus window to look at the street name and noticed that we were on a different route.

That's when I realized that I was on the wrong bus.

get me outta this funk

I've been trying to catch the frost for days now and have successfully failed to do so. I used to be a very light sleeper. Even the 'gembala kerbaus' that frequented my window could easily wake me up. Nowadays I wake up to my mom already clanking away in the kitchen or tapping away at the computer and Kimi already gone for school. I blame the chilly weather. It's caused the comfort level of my duvet to rise exponentially. All the hours I spend on the computer is also making me want to go out walking more and more to burn off some fat. Considering the steadily dropping temperatures, I can safely say that my sudden urge to be active has a rotten sense of timing.

where to now?

The winds are picking up and the chill has settled itself comfortable on the lawn. The autumn hues that greeted my arrival are slowly fading. Leaves are leaving the withering branches and more nests are comng into view, its inhabitants almost done with scampering around for food and spending more time at home. Kak Nani and Abang Isyak have gone home and I've waved goodbye to that ship. Their departure signalled the end of our holiday. Now it's time to get back to business.

I am, once again, unable to make up my mind on where to head for my future. I hate that phrase sometimes. MY FUTURE. Sounds so big and conspicuous and forboding. One wrong decision and I'm screwed for life. In reality getting to 'my future' consists of a million humble little steps that would probably measure up to nothing when accounted on their own.

Give a person the luxury of choice and he (or she, i.e. me) will never make up his mind. So much to choose from, so much time to spend ruminating on the choices and such heavy consequences weighing on each one. How, oh, how is one to choose?

The winds of change are pulling at my sleeves and I have indecision holding my feet firmly to the ground.

Daily Grind

It greatly irks me that I have to do this everyday - sacrifice my early hours to join the queue on the freeway, burn up fuel and pollute the environment - just to make it in time to the office. What do I have waiting for me once I get there? A whole day's worth of watching videos on Youtube, surfing the net, chatting with whoever's online and playing Minesweeper until I couldn't possibly break the score record one more time. If Yahoo Mail had a gate keeper, I'd be standing outside it's gates begging to get in for the 100th time. If Solitaire were to charge a fee for every game, I'd be flat broke. If it weren't Ramadhan, I'd take coffee/toilet breaks every ten minutes and there'd be lunch hour to look forward to.

It greatly irks me that this is what I took a whole year off school to do. I'm not complaining about the abundance of free time I have on my hands. Oh no, I wouldn't even think to do that. It only worries me that my brain might be turning into mush with all this excessive R&R. I can't even force myself to blog even once a week. I'm afraid I might have gone so soft that when I do return to school, even the slightest hint of pressure is going to break me to pieces. Who's to be blamed then, my boss?

Busy busy busy

All it takes is a busy weekend to put last week a lifetime away.

internet at work

Internet@work

I'm sure there's a set rule regarding the use of internet access in the office but it's a grey area in mine. The boss made it accessible in order for us to update our freeware antivirus programmes but we're supposed to hide our usage of it while he (the boss) is around. GO figure.

LRT

Random Ramblings #16

People getting into trains (in the motherland) never have the common sense to step aside and let other people get off before entering the carriage. I often have to squeeze my way through the barrage of sweaty bodies after a long day's work in order to get out. It doesn't help that the train door stays open for only a short period. They don't have the decency to queue in good discipline either. Either that or they're just plain dumb.

21 conversations

twenty conversations in my head/dear friend, where art thou???

Here in my part of the world, courtesy is handed out in small doses. There is no rush to let the ladies go first, to reply a gracious 'thank you' or to return an unwarranted but honest smile. Here in my part of the world, courtesy is a highly underrated commodity.

I walked into what I thought would be a positively career building interview and came out questioning my reason for choosing architecture as my life's vocation. Actually it didn't take much in the way of emotional bashing for me to start regretting my choices. I'd been questioning myself for some years now. Luckily enough, I have my dad's ability to simply ignore such gnawing questions and soldier on never mind everything else. I fear that the said question might again rise up to the surface to give me another scare.

Apart from life-impacting career decisions, my current situation consists of a thousand minial tasks which I set out to complete daily. I came home feeling as if my entire family's existance was in need of a major life-style overhaul. This is probably a mixed result of reality and my own sense of self-rightiousness. My family's not really in such a dire situation and I simply need something to occupy myself with while looking for a job.

There is an ongoing line of conversation that runs through my subconcios mind. I'd tune in and out of it unconciously. I'd be doing the dishes and suddenly realize that I was talking to an old friend about the minute details of dishwashing. Am I going nuts? I don't think so. I'm simply missing my friends, people with whom I'd spend hours talking about anything and everything. Currently none of them are at my disposal, so I guess my subconcious really is the next best thing. God, I really miss those long pointless conversations.