Dec 5, 2006

21 conversations

twenty conversations in my head/dear friend, where art thou???

Here in my part of the world, courtesy is handed out in small doses. There is no rush to let the ladies go first, to reply a gracious 'thank you' or to return an unwarranted but honest smile. Here in my part of the world, courtesy is a highly underrated commodity.

I walked into what I thought would be a positively career building interview and came out questioning my reason for choosing architecture as my life's vocation. Actually it didn't take much in the way of emotional bashing for me to start regretting my choices. I'd been questioning myself for some years now. Luckily enough, I have my dad's ability to simply ignore such gnawing questions and soldier on never mind everything else. I fear that the said question might again rise up to the surface to give me another scare.

Apart from life-impacting career decisions, my current situation consists of a thousand minial tasks which I set out to complete daily. I came home feeling as if my entire family's existance was in need of a major life-style overhaul. This is probably a mixed result of reality and my own sense of self-rightiousness. My family's not really in such a dire situation and I simply need something to occupy myself with while looking for a job.

There is an ongoing line of conversation that runs through my subconcios mind. I'd tune in and out of it unconciously. I'd be doing the dishes and suddenly realize that I was talking to an old friend about the minute details of dishwashing. Am I going nuts? I don't think so. I'm simply missing my friends, people with whom I'd spend hours talking about anything and everything. Currently none of them are at my disposal, so I guess my subconcious really is the next best thing. God, I really miss those long pointless conversations.


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