I'm here!!!

Finally!!! Alhamdulillah...I had fears of not getting here right up to the minute I checked in my luggage. Thank God everything went without a hitch. To all my dearest, most loved friends, get in touch QUICK!!! I'm finally online now so there's NO excuse! Besides, I miss any and everything that's familiar. I've been listening to Ruffedge and VE album (thanx Shawn!!) non-stop. Even a simple salaam from a fellow Muslim makes me bloom all over inside.

God, there's soooooo much to tell from the past week.(has it only been just one week?) I think I'll probably take a whole month to recap everything that's happened so far. And beleive me, there is MUCH to tell. I can't wait to get started.

p/s: Thanx Fakrul for the sms, kak Ila for the phonecall, my sister for putting up with my whinings via sms, and countless others for the messages in friendster, ym, etc. Knowing that you guys are thinking of me gives me the confidence I am so lacking. At the risk of sounding dumb, I'm gonna say ...."Saaaaaayang korang!!" :)

Words

Words

Sometimes the language of words seems the hardest thing in the world. Sometimes it is all that stands between me and what I mean to say. Sometimes the syllables just seem to lie more than tell. Sometimes what I say and what I mean refuse to come together. Sometimes my lips says indifference when my heart says......so much more. Sometimes it's like starting a song in the wrong chord. You can keep playing but it'll be out of tune. Sometimes the biggest fear is one that holds me from showing what is really behind the facade. Sometimes I feel like the biggest faker.

Albom on Schwartz said....

'I thought about how often this was needed in everyday life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don't let these tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don't say anything because we're frozen with fear of what those words might do to the relationship.

Morrie's approach was exactly the oposite. Turn on the faucet. Wash yourself with the emotion. It won't hurt you. It will only help. If you let the fear inside, if you pull it on like a familiar shirt, then you can say to yourself, "All right, it's just fear. I don't have to let it control me. I see it for what it is." '

If only.

Gathering

Gathering - Mini

We had a mini gathering at Tupai-tupai, thanks to Helmi's efforts. The plan was to meet at KL Central at 2.30pm. I got there, however, at 2.45pm to see Baby, Helmi, Echa and Epo already waiting. Anas, Meor and Shidi arrived at 3.30pm. Afzdal and spouse at 4.30pm. Tardiness was the order of the day. But we enjoyed the extra time catching up on each other's goings on. As it always was with the guys, jokes flew across the table non-stop and I was laughing more than I had in the last few months put together. It was nice. Heck, it was fantastic!!!

Surprisingly, topics kept evolving around our diploma days. Surprising because I thought I was the only one thinking about what a blast it was back then. There was talk of who looked like what, who got into trouble with whom doing what, et cetera. Man, it was a blast! What I would give to do it all again.

And then I realized the reason why we were all still talking about the past. Of the nine of us, none was still with the batch doing degree in UTM. We were either employed or seeking to continue studying elsewhere. Maybe that's why we're mostly trying to relive or at least hold on to those great times. We have moved on, in our own ways, and that's why the past is so precious. Looking back, I can't find another period of time in my life in which I was happier, or sadder, or made as many friends and met as many rivals.

Yup, it was a blast.

#*!&%$!!!!

#*!&%$!!!!

Let me start this entry with this....#*!&%*&#@%($!!!!^&$;^%@&*#$%@^#!!!

And before I calm down and lose me steam, let me relate to you the cause of my extreme dissatisfaction today.

The day started out bad as it is, with everyone running late for everything. The only thing that showed any sign of turning out normal was my final trip to the mall. And that's when things went back to black.

So what if the environment which they feel comfortable in is actually one I am most unfamiliar with?
So what if I seem like a fish out of water, a first-timer blindly groping her way around?
So what if I made a mistake and moved to correct myself?
So what if I didn't know?

Never in my life have I ever met such an obnoxious bunch of foreigners. This particular idiot stared at me as if I had an ass instead of a head, while his bastard of a friend kept grinning from their table. I looked away everytime our eyes met (typical Asian humility!) and I realized he was actually grinning at me!! I mean, grinning! At me! I should have stared right back and put up a finger, and it won't be the thumb, or the fore, or the ring, or the pinky, either.

I only have one word to say to those bloody mat salleh. I can't say it here, but I'll give you guys a hint : it starts with the letter F and rhymes with LUCK.

Go on people, take a wild guess...